"Kitty, can you play chess? Now, don't smile, my dear, I'm asking it seriously. Because, when we were playing just now, you watched just as if you understood it: and when I said `Check!' you purred!
`Twas brillig, the the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The grumious Bandersnatch!"
... "How is it you can all talk so nicely?" Alice said, hoping to get it into a better temper by a compliment, "I've been in many gardens before, but none of the flowers could talk."
"Put your hand down, and feel the ground," said the Tiger-lily, "Then you'll know why." Alice did so. "It's very hard," she said; "but I don't see what that has to do with it."
"In most gardens," the Tiger-lily said, "they make the beds too soft--so that the flowers are always asleep."
"When you say `hill,' I could show you hills, in comparison with which you'd call that valley."
"No, I shouldn't," said Alice, surprised into contradicting her at last: "a hill can't be a valley, you know. That would be nonsense--"
The Red Queen shook her head. "You may call it `nonsense' if you like," she said, "but I've heard nonsense, compared with which that would be as sensible as a dictionary!"
"Of course it is," said the Queen. "What would you have it?"
"Well, in our country," said Alice, still panting a little, "you'd generally get to somewhere else--if you ran very fast for a long time as we've been doing."
"A slow sort of country!" said the Queen. "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that."
"This must be the wood," she said thoughtfully to herself, "where things have no names. I wonder what'll become of my name when I go in? I shouldn't like to lose it at all--because they'd have to give me another, and it would be almost certain to be an ugly one. But then the fun would be, trying to find the creature that had got my old name! That's just like the advertisements, you know, when people lose dogs -- 'answers to the name of Dash: had on a brass collar' -- just fancy calling everything you met `Alice,' till one of them answered! Only they wouldn't answer at all, if they were wise."
`If you think we're wax-works,' he said, `you ought to pay, you know. Wax-works weren't made to be looked at for nothing, Nohow!'
`Contrariwise,' added the one marked `DEE,' `if you think we're alive, you ought to speak.'
`I know what you're thinking about,' said Tweedledum: `but it isn't so, nohow.'
`Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, `if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.'
The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright --
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.
The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done --
"It's very rude of him," she said,
"To come and spoil the fun!"
...
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
"If this were only cleared away,"
They said, "it WOULD be grand!"
The Walrus did beseech.
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each."
But four young oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat --
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn't any feet.
"To play them such a trick,
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"The butter's spread too thick!"
"I weep for you," the Walrus said.
"I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size.
Holding his pocket handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.
"O Oysters," said the Carpenter.
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?"
But answer came there none --
And that was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.
`I like the Walrus best,' said Alice: `because you see he was a LITTLE sorry for the poor oysters.'
`He ate more than the Carpenter, though,' said Tweedledee. `You see he held his handkerchief in front, so that the Carpenter couldn't count how many he took: contrariwise.'
"I'm afraid he'll catch cold with lying on the damp grass," said Alice, who was a very thoughtful little girl.
"He's dreaming now," said Tweedledee: "and what do you think he's dreaming about?"
Alice said "Nobody can guess that."
"Why, about you!" Tweedledee exclaimed, clapping his hands triumphantly. "And if he left off dreaming about you, where do you suppose you'd be?"
"Where I am now, of course" said Alice.
"Not you!" Tweedledee retorted contemptuously. "You'd be nowhere. Why, you're only a sort of thing in his dream!"
"If that there King was to wake," added Tweedledum, "you'd go out--bang!--just like a candle!"
"I shouldn't!" Alice exclaimed indignantly. "Besides, if I'm only a sort of thing in his dream, what are you, I should like to know?"
"Ditto," said Tweedledum.
"Ditto, ditto!" cried Tweedledee.
He shouted this so loud that Alice couldn't help saying "Hush! You'll be waking him, I'm afraid, if you make so much noise."
"Well, it's no use your talking about waking him," said Tweedledum, "when you're only one of the things in his dream. You know very well you're not real."
"I am real!" said Alice, and began to cry.
"You won't make yourself a bit realler by crying," Tweedledee remarked: "there's nothing to cry about."
"If I wasn't real," Alice said--half laughing through her tears, it all seemed so ridiculous--"I shouldn't be able to cry."
"I hope you don't suppose those are the real tears?" Tweedledum interrupted in a tone of great contempt.
"Living backwards!" Alice repeated in great astonishment. "I never heard of such a thing!"
"--but there's one great advantage in it, that one's memory works both ways."
"I'm sure mine only works one way," Alice remarked. "I can't remember things before they happen."
第一集的帽匠再度出現，客串演出。白皇后說他現在已經因罪繫獄， 審判將在下週三舉行，而罪行再之後才會發生。 "Suppose he never commits the crime?" said Alice.
"That would be all the better, wouldn't it?" the Queen said, as she bound the plaster around her finger with a bit of ribbon.
Alice felt there was no denying that. "Of course it would be all the better," she said: "but it wouldn't be all the better his being punished."
"You are wrong there, at any rate," said the Queen. "Were you ever punished?"
"Only for faults," said Alice.
"And you were all the better for it, I know!" the Queen said triumphantly.
"Yes, but then I had done the things I was punished for," said Alice: "that makes all the difference."
"But if you hadn't done them," the Queen said, "that would have been better still; better, and better, and better!"
白皇后一邊說話一邊在手指塗膏藥、纏絲帶，這時忽然叫起痛來， 因為稍後她會被胸針刺傷，雖然知道卻不會避免，等她真的被刺到的時候反而不叫了， Alice 覺得稀奇，問她不疼嗎，她說 "Why, I've done all the screaming already," said the Queen. "What would be the good of having it all over again?"
`What a beautiful belt you've got on!' Alice suddenly remarked. ...
`It is a -- MOST -- PROVOKING -- thing,' he said at last, `when a person doesn't know a cravat from a belt!'
`I know it's very ignorant of me,' Alice said, in so humble a tone that Humpty Dumpty relented.
`It's a cravat, child, and a beautiful one, as you say. It's a present from the White King and Queen. There now!'
`They gave it me,' Humpty Dumpty continued thoughtfully, as he crossed one knee over the other and clasped his hands round it, `they gave it me -- for an un-birthday present.'
然後吵了一下「非」生日禮物的意義和「好處」：因為一年只有一個生日， 但是有 364 個非生日。但是在計算 365-1 的過程中，蛋頭教授顯得非常低能。
`And only ONE for birthday presents, you know. There's glory for you!'
`I don't know what you mean by "glory,"' Alice said.
Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. `Of course you don't -- till I tell you. I meant "there's a nice knock-down argument for you!"'
`But "glory" doesn't mean "a nice knock-down argument,"' Alice objected.
`When _I_ use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, `it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less.'
`The question is,' said Alice, `whether you CAN make words mean so many different things.'
`The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, `which is to be master -- that's all.'
Alice was too much puzzled to say anything, so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again. `They've a temper, some of them -- particularly verbs, they're the proudest -- adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs -- however, _I_ can manage the whole of them! Impenetrability! That's what _I_ say!'
`I see nobody on the road,' said Alice.
`I only wish _I_ had such eyes,' the King remarked in a fretful tone. `To be able to see Nobody! And at that distance, too! Why, it's as much as _I_ can do to see real people, by this light!'
"It's long." said the Knight, "but it's very, very beautiful. Everybody that hears me sing it--either it brings the tears into their eyes, or else--"
"Of else what?" said Alice, for the Knight had made a sudden pause.
"Or else it doesn't, you know. The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes.'"
"Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested.
"No. You don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The name really is `The Aged Aged Man.'"
"Then I ought to have said `That's what the song called'?" Alice corrected herself.
"No, you oughtn't: that's quite another thing! The song is called `Ways And Means': but that's only what it's called, you know!"
"Well, what is the sone, then?" said Alice, who was by this time completely bewildered.
"I was coming to that," the Knight siad. "The song really is `A-sitting On A Gate': and the tune's my own invention."
